PW’s Apple Dumplings, sugar coma pending…

These babies are good. Don’t let the use of Mountain Dew fool you into thinking they’ll turn out weird – they’re awesome. They are not Mountain Dew dumplings, they’re Mountain Dew-laced apple dumplings of sugared, buttered deliciousness.

I went out after martial arts and bought what I needed to to make the dumplings: crescent roll dough and Mountain Dew. Everything else I had at home already. However, in my quest I ran into some lumps along the way. The only crescent roll dough they had was reduced fat, but I figured it wouldn’t make a difference once I got all those dumplings situated in their butter-sugar-pop bath. Plus, I donated to breast cancer research – can’t go wrong there. The other problem was that Murphy’s law once again popped up in the case of Mountain Dew. There wasn’t a single case of cans to be seen. Apparently the Wal-Mart on our side of the county doesn’t carry baby cans of Pepsi products (but it does carry baby cans of Canada Dry and RC, who knew?), and the 12-packs were gone. All of them. So I had to settle for the 6-pack of 24-oz. bottles. And this when I’m trying not to drink pop except in rare and exceptional cases. Great. And of course, Breyer’s natural vanilla.

I could’ve gone to Kroger right down the road. I probably should have; I bet they had baby cans of Mountain Dew. But I was already at Wal-Mart. And I had other things in my cart. So I went ahead and bought my things and went home.

I only bought one can of crescent roll dough. Dammit. Oops. I’d have to make do – Wal-Mart is 20-30 minutes from my apartment. I wasn’t going back. I cut the apples with my handy little apple corer-slicer and got everything ready to make dumplings. I had twice as many apples as crescent slices, so I doubled the apples:crescent ratio. Two slices to a triangle, in the pan.

Now, why it didn’t occur to me that if I had only one can of crescent dough, then I should have to halve the recipe… I don’t know. I guess I was so excited for the prospect of these dumplings. I even wondered why my dumplings didn’t look as packed as in the photo in Ree’s recipe, but I went ahead and melted butter, mixed in sugar and vanilla and poured it all over the dumplings, followed by Mountain Dew. It looked good even then. I snubbed the cinnamon because I am obviously a dingbat and stuck the pan in the oven.

When it came out, the dumplings were swimming in buttered-sugared-carbonated goodness. They smelled extraordinary. I served up a dumpling and ice cream apiece for 354 and I. They definitely got the Man Stamp of Approval, and I didn’t think they were none too bad myself. (The double negatives of the South… they kill me.) After a ‘special’ supper of pasta that 354 brought home after his extra shift – caprino e pinoli penne for me, and ricotta-spinach ravioli in arrabbiata from Mirko, oh goodness, if you’re in Athens or Watkinsville, go eat there soon – we just couldn’t eat anything else. So the remaining dumplings got packed up for storage, and the butter bath got poured into a pint Mason jar. I couldn’t waste it! So now I have to figure out what to do with all this clarified, supersweet, Mountain Dew-spiced butter… something will come of it, and I’m sure it will be good. Meantime, the dumplings are just as good reheated and eaten later, as with many things, the flavors marry better after a day or so.

Ree’s full recipe and step-by-step (with photos) instructions are here, along with a printable recipe version. I think these would be a kick at Thanksgiving this year (or any year) and I highly recommend you try them. As in, tonight. Or as soon as possible. I’m serious.

Next, apple cinnamon bran muffins, for a healthy and tasty breakfast!